It Takes a Lifetime to Learn How to Live

It Takes a Lifetime to Learn How to Live is an intimate, multigenerational Italian American memoir immersed in the legacies of secrets, silence, and sacrifice of Southern Italy. In 1915, Carmela leaves the remote village of Rotondella. Her daughter, Laura, grows up determined to sever the past in an effort to be fully American. But decades later, when her life collapses, Laura's daughter-the memoir's narrator-sets off alone to Italy in search of truth and belonging. Her journey leads her back to her ancestral village, where she finds the open arms of family-and also uncovers the lingering shadows of the malocchio, omertà, rigid Catholicism, and a past of abject poverty, arranged marriage, patriarchal control, the Mafia, and a suspicion of sexual abuse. She begins to understand how these forces shaped not only her grandmother's life, but also her mother's-and her own. By honoring the courage of the women who came before her, to risk and endure, she finds the grace to forgive, to heal, to make peace with her mother, and ultimately, to come home to herself. * * * It Takes a Lifetime to Learn How to Live is a gift, not just to those with Italian roots, but to anyone who has ever wrestled with family history, loss, or the search for belonging. She reminds us that love, even when complicated, is what carries us through. Reading her story left me with a sense of connection to my past, to my community, and to the possibility of moving forward with hope. -Pamela Dorazio Dean, La Nostra Voce, WE ARE ITALIAN AMERICA (October 2025) Libby Cataldi takes the reader on an epic journey, not only to remote Basilicata, but into the hearts and minds of the women who came before her. Armed with her pen and a desire to know the truth, Cataldi digs deep into the soul of Southern Italy and her family secrets to bring us an emotional and beautiful story.-Helene Stapinski, author of Murder in Matera A gem of a book about family love, finding one's roots, and seeking redemption. This inspiring story of searching for "home" by traveling from Pittsburgh to a small, unheard of town in southern Italy is as enticing as the aromatic Italian tomato sauces Cataldi continually describes. Her journey to locate la famiglia will hearten all readers who have looked for love while wondering "Where do I belong?" -Theresa Brown, New York Times' bestselling author of The Shift and Healing.